On the second day of july on my 25th, I opened my eyes from the sunshine coming from the window to my face; like every morning of every july in every year the first thing I thought about was this: "How many days are remaining?" 12 days!
I thought I don't need to come out of the bed. I can lie down and let the sun passes from my window. My ability for leaving the life is as powerful as my ability to take it in my hands;so destructive and so productive. My biggest nightmare in whole life has been time passing, while I'm not as good as I want to be!
Well,these are the kind of thoughts that you do before your birthday when you get close to 30, and I was busy thinking about them when he came sat on my bed and without saying hi started:" did you now that crazy birds read? I mean insanity sign in birds is reading book."
I said it's bullshit, and you can't say this is one of the medical facts which I don't know about, because first of all, you're not a vet, you're a human doctor and second it's nonsense.
He frowned and started playing with his phone. Maybe if I was in the mood I could've get excited by talking about mad birds but not today; today I just wanted to stay in bed and let the sun to pass from my window.
I knew that I can't explain this to him; every time the moment that I open my mouth to nag about such a situation he starts: "if you loved your loneliness why did you accept to be my girlfriend? you know nothing about being in a relationship and blah blah." And as always I would've said that "okay you knew me, you accepted me the way I am and I told you about all of these in the beginning so you have no right to nag about it." I didn't want to start such a fight, at least not today, so when he said I'm leaving I let him leave without saying anything.
I stayed in bed by the evening, then sent him a text: "come!"
Time can heal and cover, like a beautiful silk tablecloth which turns an ugly and old table to fancy one; all of the heavy thoughts of the morning were like a shadow in the cover of time.
He texted back: "Pizza?" I texted: " Plus frozen yogurt"
One hour later he was here with pizza, frozen yogurt and kisses; wind was bringing smell of trees and summer inside, I couldn't believe that this calm evening belongs to the same day as that gloomy morning.We were playing stone scissor paper to decide if we should watch a movie or play video game that it happened; a laughing bird came inside, took one of the heaviest books in the library in it's beak and passed from my frozen face and his "I told you" face and left the room.
I thought I don't need to come out of the bed. I can lie down and let the sun passes from my window. My ability for leaving the life is as powerful as my ability to take it in my hands;so destructive and so productive. My biggest nightmare in whole life has been time passing, while I'm not as good as I want to be!
Well,these are the kind of thoughts that you do before your birthday when you get close to 30, and I was busy thinking about them when he came sat on my bed and without saying hi started:" did you now that crazy birds read? I mean insanity sign in birds is reading book."
I said it's bullshit, and you can't say this is one of the medical facts which I don't know about, because first of all, you're not a vet, you're a human doctor and second it's nonsense.
He frowned and started playing with his phone. Maybe if I was in the mood I could've get excited by talking about mad birds but not today; today I just wanted to stay in bed and let the sun to pass from my window.
I knew that I can't explain this to him; every time the moment that I open my mouth to nag about such a situation he starts: "if you loved your loneliness why did you accept to be my girlfriend? you know nothing about being in a relationship and blah blah." And as always I would've said that "okay you knew me, you accepted me the way I am and I told you about all of these in the beginning so you have no right to nag about it." I didn't want to start such a fight, at least not today, so when he said I'm leaving I let him leave without saying anything.
I stayed in bed by the evening, then sent him a text: "come!"
Time can heal and cover, like a beautiful silk tablecloth which turns an ugly and old table to fancy one; all of the heavy thoughts of the morning were like a shadow in the cover of time.
He texted back: "Pizza?" I texted: " Plus frozen yogurt"
One hour later he was here with pizza, frozen yogurt and kisses; wind was bringing smell of trees and summer inside, I couldn't believe that this calm evening belongs to the same day as that gloomy morning.We were playing stone scissor paper to decide if we should watch a movie or play video game that it happened; a laughing bird came inside, took one of the heaviest books in the library in it's beak and passed from my frozen face and his "I told you" face and left the room.
